♥th-Forgotten

The part below will be once again, ranting and some of my own thoughts.
So be warn if reading it affects your emotional health.
I guess I had too much time to on hand currently to think through lots of stuff.
If you don't understand the hidden meaning, don't understand.
Sometimes, not being able to understand is a good thing.

I don't know if I should appreciate their effort for being a busybody/stalker or what.
But I don't like their way of doing things. :/
Being part of somewhere doesn't mean that I am their property, even if they "tries" to protect us.
I am "thankful" (I-dislike-it-alot) for all those unpleasant memories in the past which had taught me so much that now, even when I blog, I had to read through whatever I had typed more than twice to ensure I don't offend anyone. (FAILURE!-I-still-did-THAT-last-year-out-of-anger)

Internet is a dangerous tool.
It benefits people and bring those who uses it harms.
Wrong words meant judgement.
A tool for people to hide without exposing and a tool to release the inner words that must not be verbalize.
Words that cause irreplaceable damage to those who didn't manage to avoid that unlucky fate and words that give encouragements and motivation.
I was lucky.
3 times.
But it's best to keep in mind that the next might not be.

Everything feels like a major plan in business world whereby they use others to benefit themselves.
It just seems to me that I am a tool or a chess piece, maybe just a small flicker of dust on the board, since I am not contributing a lot.
The reasons for all that we had received is not out of caring or kindness but for personal benefits.
There is no free lunch in this world.
However, as compared to others, I am lucky.

The first home starts with C.
Second home starts with H.
Third home starts with S.
However, the only reliable home is the second home.
First home provides you a place that should not be taken for granted.
A kind action with fake intentions hidden beneath.
In return, you follow their house rules and benefit them when you are capable.
However, the first home does not apply to everyone or anyone.
The second home is the one whereby you might not like them a lot most of the time, but they are the ones who protect and support you best.
The third home only wants your brain and is created for beneficial purpose.
Everything there is a lie.

Emotions no longer matter. Only the brain is important.
It's all fake and coated with lies.
As long as you are sell-able, that's all that matter.

When you are needed, you stay.
When you are no longer of any use, you are eliminated.
That's basic. Everyone knows.
The efforts are not rewarded or acknowledge.
The good are hidden behind the bad.
Words full of lies are spread around.
There goes the light behind the darkness.
Engulfed. Gone.

Unfairness is no longer any concern.
There's no fairness, everyone knows.
It's all drilled in from our first step.

Bonds are so easily broken.
The heart no longer matter.
The lies filled the empty holes.
Cruelty is all that's left behind.

There is no rights just like nothing is perfect.
The only thing wrong is the first step.
The beginning of troubles and the game of mentality.

--The Tainted Truth.

I am studying, but I am not a student.
I am not 21, but I am an adult.
I do not have a regular income, but I need to pay.

Money in, service sucks.
Increased in demands, no pay rise.
Invaders, royalties.
Self, Lowest-rank.

The past is the past, yet justice is important.
A lie became an avalanche.
As obvious as day.
Authority is everything.
A lie became the truth.
The truth became the witch.
Justice is eliminated by authority.
Justice is no longer there other than exterior.

A savior turns out to be the destroyer.
Awareness is the key.
A bleak future awaits for the future.

Corruption.

That's all.
Understand, silence.
Don't understand, better.

Goodnight.

Opps!
Before I forget.

IT'S TIME FOR CELEBRATIONS!^^
Screw my positive mindset of time will change things!

Never in my life whereby I am so FREAKING HAPPY to quit my job! 8D

It is NOT they FIRED me, BUT it is I FIRED THEM!

GOODBYE MORONS!
I WILL DEFINITELY REMEMBER YOU ALL AS THE WORST WORKERS AND CONTINUE TO DESPISE YOU! ESPECIALLY THAT CRANKY ASS B*TCH!!

ALSO, I WILL REMEMBER MY LOVELY FRIEND JANE! (:
THE ONLY SMALL LIGHT IN THAT DARKNESS & THE ONLY ANGEL IN THAT PIT OF HELL.

WAHAHAHAH!
I have lost my mind... BUT I AM HAPPY! (:

Okay. I had enough of that cranky old b*tch. -.-
She might be triple my age but so what?
I gave her the respect yet I still get yelled at for NOTHING.
I tied up my hair unlike the others, yet her SUPERB eyes saw my ONE STRAND of HAIR drop onto the floor.
Then, I ALREADY pushed in the table, yet she insisted that I did not, plus yell at me for being ZiZuoCongMing. -.-

Going to resign from my job tomorrow.
Can't believe I will lose my job so soon.
The previous time it was in 30 minutes whereby I thought I got the job, then they tell me they want permanent staff.
I have only been working for 2 days and I am talking about resign.
Can imagine how bad the situation is like?

I don't owe them any single thing, plus they aren't even the ones who sign my payslip.
So who the heck gives them the rights to ill treat a newcomer?
This kind of workers should be sack!
Out so ALL of them, there is only ONE nice person around.
Even the customers feel sad for me and asked me to Jiayou.
Such rude and unfriendly workers.

After the first day, I thought maybe if I work a little longer, I might be able to get use to it.
BUT NO.
That crazy b*tch had to drag me around the store as though she is the boss.
Even if she is the boss, I have human rights!
You want to employ worker, you got to ensure that they would want to work for you!
I am not desperate for money, plus there are tons for jobs out there who might be more appreciative of the additional help instead of this bunch of rude workers.
If only I have their HQ number, I will totally want to complain their workers ESPECIALLY THAT B*TCH.
But too bad.
I don't think they have a proper working system, thus the craziness in a restaurant.
It's a wonder how they become rather famous.

Initially, I wanted to work a little longer before I resign, so that they will feel the pain of losing a worker who already knows how to manage around the shop.
But there are already lots of experience worker around.
Plus no point staying for that pathetic $6/hr pay which is simply darn dumb because the entire time I was being yell at.
No idea why would they want another worker when they don't even need the extra help.

People with no patience to teach newcomers should never put out that employment piece of paper right outside their shop.
They should totally print in CAPS and BOLD letters that the job scope includes workers being verbal punching bags as well as they MUST have incredible mental ability to ignore this kind of nonsense.

As for that CRAZY B*TCH, I hope she rots in hell. LITERALLY.
I was trying to be nice to an old lady and this is what I receive in return.
Link her to PMS, Menopause or Never get Married, but this is totally not the way to treat a human being who deserve as much respect as herself.
I don't deserve to be humiliated in front of the customers.
I was trying my best not to yell back and yet she totally don't appreciates it.

Next, the rest of the workers(expect that good one called Jane) sucks big time.
I am obviously doing my job of clearing the dishes, yet they reprimanded me for not checking the kitchen or slacking around?
Their brains must be freaking small to not realise that their shop is as small as their brains whereby there isn't any hidding spot for me to slack.

TOTALLY RUBBISH!

If I can work at RSH for a month with them asking me back to work for them again, plus they even want to sponsor my transport fare, I am 100% CONFIRM the problem doesn't lies with me.
Crazy people who doesn't know how to treat a newcomer well.
It is totally their lost for not realising that I can help them if they are willing to teach me PROPERLY with RESPECT.

Just for that pathetic $48 pay, which resulted in me going through this kind of torture.
I bet that if their upper people doesn't check on their lower people soon, they are NEVER going to employ a worker that works for them in long run.
Maybe not for all outlets. Just THAT CLEMENTI outlet.

Which means, I am jobless once again.
Might go for another round of job hunt with Yilin or Liye?
Or maybe I might call up RSH and ask if they need helper for stores around my area.
I would gladly work for them. ^^
Darn thankful for their additional $100 plus salary.

Or maybe it is fated..
I should go do some research on Architecture and Landscape Architecture before my start of school?
Sian.

I just want to earn additional money to pay for my guitar lessons, plus maybe buy clothes and bag for start of school?
Plus it's time to save up and buy a laptop!
Maybe Macbook?

But now...
No money = Kaboom.
No need to think of buying anything. /:

Haish...
Money out no money in..
Freaking broke.

Bye.

Went to work last night from 6pm to 10pm at Ajisen.
At first I was kind of glad, since it is only at Clementi Mall.
Now because of that freaking old bossy auntie, my part time job feels like hell. -.-

Seriously.
I think I am quite well done for being a first time waitress.
Then she had to keep pulling me aside to reprimand me for all the right things plus all the things that I did not do.
Crazy old lady.

She kept saying that I won't remember this and that, then says I am thinking too highly of myself by thinking that I will be able to learn a lot in a single day. -.-
The worst part is, she can't speak in a nice tone. She had to freaking YELL.
WTH. -.-
It's my brain OKAY?
How does she knows my brain capacity?
Siao Zha Bor...

First, shouldn't newcomers do the easy job first until they understand how to manage the more difficult job?
No, the auntie keep hogging the drinks job then ask me to get out of the kitchen, which resulted in me getting scolded by the manager. -.-
Then, the manager scold me for not having the initiative.
DUDE! It's only my first day here!
First, she is not even there to explain any single thing to me.
Then she expect me to suddenly get enlighten out of nowhere?
CRAZY!

I wanted to find a part time job whereby it is close to my house, so that next time, even after Poly starts, I can still work.
Now, I have no idea if I want to carry on with this job anot.
Although the salary is not too bad, plus they release people quite on time, the workers there (mainly that bossy auntie and the unreasonable manager) are not that friendly.

If somebody is to call me for a job interview for another job, I think I will just simply quit this job and jump over to the other one.
I thought I can choose what time I want to work, since it is a part time job.
But NO.
They only want me to serve 6pm to 10pm and that includes closing of the shop.
I am okay with night shift, but seriously?
Only 4 hours?
Somemore I need to pay adult transport fare, just to work 4 short hours?
Not worth it.. Totally not worth it..

Haish.
Well, at least I got $24 today instead of nothing huh...

Sian.
Plus I reek of miso soup smell.
Which means I stink up the train causing an uncomfortable ride for the commuters. -.-
Need to either go get deodorant or hope that my change of shirt can help to reduce the stinky smell.

A positive mindset: I believe time will allow them to see my GREATNESS! WAHAHAH! 8D

Bye.

Haish sian.
Lots of unhappy things happen today.
I don't want to be unhappy.
But I am unhappy. /:

I SHALL RANT!

*WARNING! DO NOT READ IF YOU DISLIKE RANTING.

Went for a job hunt with Liye today.
Hunt for job until I freaking sian.
If nobody wants to call me, then so be it le.
I don't want to fill in anymore application forms already.
Sick and tired.
The most I try to stay home more and spend less.
It is just plain frustrating that my friends manage to find jobs easily while I had already filled quite a number of forms.

Next, I really dislike the RC MO and MM. Women! Why not give us a male teacher-in-charge? WHY?
I couldn't prevent the closing down of my CCA, now I am not even allow to attend activity with my juniors?
What the heck is this. /:
I messaged all of my RC juniors to inform me about trainings during the Dec holidays.
Yet, I received none.
So now I am to be blame for not attend their trainings? WTF.
This is total crap.
If Minyee is allowed to go with the juniors for the Childcare trip without attending yesterday training, then I don't see why I cannot attend.
This is total BIAS.
I am trying not to bear grudges at what happened previously and now they are bearing grudges?
What rights do they have to bear grudges?
Simply sickening.
So what does this show?
Simply put: I am no longer required as my serve towards my CCA had ended when I graduated.

I actually wanted to attend their trainings so that I can at least keep up with how the CCA is doing.
After receiving this kind of crappy excuses from MM and MO, I feel like attending every single training just to piss them off with my presence.
BUT, I am no longer going to do that anymore.

I sent my juniors messages to inform me about training.
Since I didn't receive any, it means that they don't want me there.

Seems like my 4 years of effort put into my CCA had gone to waste.
If nobody wants me there, I shall not be an eyesore and waste people precious land space.

The finally one is just simply about bad news on top of whatever crap I had received and encountered yesterday.

SO,

END OF RANT.

Only 1 good new for today.
My guitar lesson is finally going to start on the 11 Feb.
FINALLY something to do out of my so darn boring lifestyle.

I feel like I am stuck in the middle of nowhere, since I had graduated from Secondary School life and I have not start Poly plus I am jobless. /:
Once Poly starts, I believe things will get better by a lot bah. (I won't have time to go back to that USS anymore plus I have a reasonable excuse for not going back. Not like I go back a lot of course)
If my appeal is not successful, I will still continue my LA course.
Maybe something in LA might catch my interest? ^^
No matter whichever course A or LA, I think I will work harder than my entire Sec life. since I have been slacking a lot. :P

I am quite sure that Poly life experience will be 100% better than my Sec School life.
Even my Primary school life was much better than Sec School life.
It's not that I don't like my classmates.
I just don't like the P, VP, OMs and ~~SOME~~ several teachers there.
The most shocking thing out of my 4 (not well experienced) years of Sec life is that I actually like most of my DMs! (:
Even though I am always late and that they always scold and nag, but they are one of the best people I have seen in school. (:
Especially since my ex-CCA room was just beside the DM room. (:

I won't miss USS.
I will only remember those special people around me.

That's all.

Hopefully my appeal will be successful.
And I will try to be happier.

BYE!

TADA! See my cake?! ^^

First time go to Icing Room.
Their "design your own" cakes are very expensive, but darn fun. (:
The taste also quite nice, not very sweet like what I had initially thought.
Thanks to Yilin for treating me this cake plus taking the photos! (:

I was trying. REALLY. REALLY. HARD.

To draw a flower.

But it ended up like this... D;

A sun/weird species.

Went over to Jeffery's house to Pai Nian and eat Steamboat. ^^

Kind of BuHaoYiSi because they prepared a lot of food. Really A LOT.

Then we didn't even do anything other than go over take angbaos and play poker and mahjong. :P

Plus we didn't even wash the bowls after eating.

They even waited for us to finish our dinner before they start theirs.

Plus we took angbaos from his Granny and disturb her sleep with my Birthday song. x.x

Feel bad, but oh well. :P

Played real life mahjong today for the first time.

Viwawa version still easier to play plus higher chances of winning.

I can't keep up with their speed. D;

The way their throw their tiles is like shooting, one moment it is there and then I dunno what they threw. x.x

Lost all the coins in my wallet before dinner.

Then after dinner, I lost my $2 note while playing BlackJack. -.-

No wonder the fortune teller says those birth under the dog year only have 1 out of 5 stars of luck.

Aiyo.

I had lots of fun today. (: Other than receiving my JAE Posting Results. -.-

They sent me my results at 6.14am.

It was already expected, but still, I was hoping for a miracle.

Entered SP Landscape Architecture. x.x

I wanted SP Architecture. D;

Went to appeal already.

Let's hope the cake I drew earlier can bring me good fortune and grant me a successful appeal.

If not, I believe I would have to repeat a year so that I can transfer after Year 1 and not miss out on the foundation.

That's all!

ALL THE BEST TO THOSE GOING JC TOMORROW!

I shall blast you with ENERGY BOOST! *BOOM!

You have been blasted! (:

Bye!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (:

This year's New Year Celebration wasn't that fun. ):
Last time can go visit friends' houses, play poker or watch people play mahjiong.
Now, because I am no longer schooling, plus didn't really dare to ask anybody about NY visiting since I am not really very very close with them, so I am currently rotting at home.

As usual, CNY eve, we go eat reunion dinner at Gran's house.
Then ChuYi, the three of us(kids) went 4 places on the first day. *Phew
Woke at 7plus am, rush over to Gran's house, followed by 3rd Aunt's house, 4th Aunt house then finally 6th Aunt's house.
Reached home at 11.45pm? Had to leave early to avoid 50% extra charge. -.-
Paid a lot of money to the taxi uncles, but fortunately not my money. :D

I am like super jealous of my nieces and nephews larh. :/
Being a kid is like so darn good, so much attention from the adults.
Last time CNY we can go pester our older cousins to play with us, then they will entertain us.
Now my nieces and nephews come and pester us, then we have to entertain them. D:
One word suitable for this situation is called RETRIBUTION.

Last time we keep pestering our older cousins to carry us and spin us around like roller coaster.
Then we caused a lot of problems for them.
Now we have to spin the little kids.
The unfortunate thing is that, like when we were younger, they were darn hyper too. x.x
Spin them until I dizzy with muscle pain.
6 of us older aunts and uncles got KO by 2 young nephew and niece.
Luckily the youngest nephew likes to play the "serving the guest" game, even though it is not his house and the other 3 nieces and nephews were at home sleeping with their parents.

Last year they played throw the oranges. x.-
This year they played spinning games. x.x

The kids really played until one of them forgot that he scraped his knee.
Plus it was bleeding a lot.
Scare the hell out of me. x.x
I was like darn scared that I cause him to receive the injury larh.
My cousins may be nice to us last time, but with the current generation thinking, I was darn worried that they will change into their protective parents mode and scold the heck out of us. x.x

Due to the presence of young nephews and nieces, we are not allowed to gamble or watch any violence shows.
So the almost the entire day of ChuYi, we were watching Disney Channel and eating tidbits.
My cousins also don't allow their kids to watch Tom and Jerry, because they think it is violent. /:
Too bad, their lost. Tom and Jerry was my third favourite cartoon show after power ranger and ultraman.

So that basically concludes the end of CNY eve and ChuYi.

Spent ChuEr sleeping and inviting Yilin and Fion over.
As usual again, my house doesn't have much to play.
No mahjiong, only poker, taboo, movies and maybe monopoly?

The results of the posting is coming out soon.
So gonna miss Yilin, Fion, Evelyn and Amanda, since we usually hang out together during lunch break. D:
I wonder how many of us will continue to keep in contact will we are older. Haish.
I think my cousins are darn lucky to be of the same ages and having the similar group of friends since young. ):

I feel that I have been deciding a few things too quickly this year, like the poly course that I want to attend and the way I spend my money.
Well, I don't think I will regret going to Architecture, since I have not learn anything about it yet, plus how would I know if I am suitable if I have not even try.
Next, I actually wanted to learn piano, but due to financial problems(the hole in my pocket) and the lack of space at home(according to my parents), I am going to learn guitar outside.
I like guitar as well, but not as much as piano.
Although Shimei said that guitar is easier and can be learn by myself, I am still going to receive lesson from outside (another larger hole in my pocket) since I believe I don't have that patience to keep staring at Youtube videos plus nobody(Shimei or Shiyun) is willing to teach me.

So that's it for now.
I am too lazy to post photos.
Maybe when Shiyun decides to sent me the CNY de bah.

Byebye!

*Get well soon to all those sick people out there who didn't really get to enjoy CNY!

Shirui♥

.28th January 1995.

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